Sleepless in Walla Walla

I find myself awake at 3am. It is not usual for me. Usually when I go to sleep, I am out like a log and don't wake until my alarm goes off in the all too early morning. Not that I don't occasionally work until 3, I did last night, but that was only to finish a newsletter that had to be in the mail yesterday. So I am tired, and really should sleep, but I am unable to.

I was in a meeting today, or rather yesterday now, with Jim Peterson, Jon Stratton and Kevin Loomer at WWCC. We were talking through how to complete the theater/performing arts facility that is attached to the new Health Sciences building. We were actually getting somewhere. Dr. Steve Van Ausdle walks in and interrupts. He says he is very angry. He says he is angry about the report I wrote: "Primary Shortcomings of the New Performing Arts Facility at WWCC, October 25, 2007" He says he says he found the report very un-complementary. He says he is angry about the Union-Bulletin apparently having the report. He says he is angry that I attacked "the college's architect." He says he has lost all respect for "you." He says "we" built the performing arts center or maybe it is a lecture hall he says. He continues, "is this the way you pay us back?" He says "we" have talked in the past about eliminating the theater program, looking at Jon Stratton. He says maybe "we" should revisit that question. He starts a sentence "If I find out that the Union Bulletin had that report before I got it . . ." I retreat into my shell and tune out for a moment. Compose. Calm.

I miss the end of his statement.

Throughout this, you can obviously tell he is furious. Possibly beyond furious. The most disturbing thing was his eyes.

I have reached a point where I can actually say something. I say "I only intended the report to be complete, . . ." my pause is interrupted.

Jon Stratton eventually speaks up and basically claims some responsibility. He had the report for a week before it was given to Dr. Van Ausdle. I don't think Jon was that clear in what he said, but that is the fact. Jon eventually goes on and actually gets a bit angry himself, defending me and saying how hard I have worked for the college.

Things calm down, but only a very little. The tea kettle is no longer trying to blow its lid, its just actively steaming away.

Eventually Dr. Van Ausdle leaves. Jim Peterson says a few more words, and at one point, you can see he is trying to control his anger. He succeeds. Things are summarized, we have some actions planned. We all walk out in a daze. We don't talk about the action plan. We talk about what happened with the President.

Kevin said ". . . that, that was demonic." My thought was irrational.

Irrational? Demonic? Where were we? I thought I was at a Washington State Community College. Maybe I was wrong. Then again, I usually know where I am. It's never a hard thing to figure out. Darn. Never say "never."

What I remember most, and what I wrote down when I got home was that he talked about respect, and I thought that was a a very interesting way for him to earn respect. I also wrote down that thought it was interesting that we "owe" him for the performing arts center.

If anyone is owed, it is the students and the State of Washington.

I am tired. It is almost 10:00 when I finally get home from the rehearsal at The Little Theatre. I go to sleep fairly soon after I get home. I am still thinking about it, because when I wake up at 1:45, it is the first thing on my mind.

I have a headache. I take some ibuprofen. I try to read a novel. My little black cat wants attention. I close my eyes. I try to sleep.

3am. I am still awake. It's all been going over in my mind. Or my mind has been going over it. Whichever or both. I think: "I need to write." I think "livejournal." I did that once for a couple of years. That was a different me. That was along time ago.

What's the biggest blogging service? Isn't it blogspot? I think so.

I get up and go to the computer. www.blogspot.com. My password keeper prompts me that it has a saved password. I say "what the hell?" I've never been to blogspot before. I look closer. Google. I smile. I like Google. They think.